I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I will die if light touches me.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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