I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize