I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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