I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
