Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
