apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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