thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just forgot I was standing up.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
