your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Randomize
