Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
