I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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