It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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