two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
