is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
