Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
