Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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