There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When are your genitals available?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
