how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
