I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize