But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize