I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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