Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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