Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
