you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
