Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
