Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
