Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
