Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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