so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
so much tequila, so little girl.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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