pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
