i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
