I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
