why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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