I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
