we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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