Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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