I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
