It's Friday. Sex?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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