Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
