Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
