The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize