There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
