I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
