You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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