I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
