apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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