The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
