So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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