So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
