What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize