How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
