He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
