Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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