so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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