The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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