you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
