Already got asked if we're dating
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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