i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
