So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
