The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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