found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
